Collection of judgments against husbands demanding that their wives return wedding gifts before filing for divorce in Vietnam

Hello, Ms. Lam, LawNet would like to answer your questions as follows:

Reclaiming the wedding presents can be seen as negativity in Vietnamese society today. In fact, there are many people who think that bringing the bride's mother to the bride's house is a ritual when making an engagement. Therefore, if a divorce occurs, there is no longer any reason for the groom's family to lose that amount.

According to civil law, the gift of wedding money is in the form of a contract for gifting property; the gift of a wedding gift upon marriage is agreed upon by the two parties on the amount and form of giving and no other conditions. Therefore, according to Articles 457 and 458 of the Civil Code 2015, this donation takes effect from the time the bride's family receives the bride's wedding gift and establishes the ownership rights of the bride's family. For the above reasons, the request to reclaim the property will not be accepted by the court.

In addition, Decree 126/2014/ND-CP stipulates as follows:

Article 4. Settlement of marriage and family cases and matters applying practices

For settlement of a marriage and family case or matter applying practices, conciliation shall be conducted in accordance with the law on grassroots conciliation. Prestigious persons in the community or religious dignitaries shall be encouraged to participate in the conciliation.

In case the conciliation fails or the marriage and family case or matter applying practices falls outside the scope of grassroots conciliation, a court shall settle that case or matter in accordance with the law on civil procedure.

In Clauses 1 and 2, Article 2 of this Decree, the applicable custom must be a code of conduct consistent with the provisions of Clause 4 and Article 3 of the Law on Marriage and Family. That is, the marriage and family custom must be a code of conduct with clear content on the rights and obligations of the parties in the marriage and family relationship; it must be repeated, repeated over a long period of time, and widely recognized in a region, domain, or community.

Therefore, the application of the custom must comply with the conditions specified in Article 7 of the Law on Marriage and Family 2014 of Vietnam. According to the list of outdated marriage and family practices that should be abolished or banned, the custom that upon divorcing, the bride's family must return all bridesmaids and other expenses, and children must follow their father is one that should be abolished. Therefore, the above practice will not be considered or accepted by the court to settle divorce cases.

Below are some judgments regarding this matter:

1. Judgment 02/2019/HNGD-ST dated 07/26/2019 on divorce

- Level of trial: First instance

- Judicial body: People's Court of Trang Dinh district, Lang Son province

- Quote from the content: "Mr D and Ms. P are not free to get to know each other, due to the matchmaking of the two families and the traditional wedding ceremony. Both have marriage registrations at the People's Committee of K commune, T district, and Lang Son province. In 2009, the couple started to have conflicts because Ms. P had feelings for another man. Because of this, Mr. D used force against Ms. P, and the couple has been separated since 2009. Now he has determined that the couple's love is no longer there. Ms. P left Mien Mien from 2009 until now, not caring about her children; he is raising two children by himself. Now, Ms. P asks for a divorce, and he agrees, but he asks Ms. P to pay him 40,000,000 VND for raising two children and 40,000,000 VND for the wedding day.

2. Judgment 01/2019/HNGD-ST dated March 27, 2019 on divorce and child custody disputes upon divorce

- Level of trial: First instance

- Judicial body: People's Court of Van Quan district, Lang Son province

- Excerpt from the content: "After a period of research, Mr. and Mrs. Ma Thi H voluntarily got married." They held a wedding ceremony according to customs and practices and registered their marriage at the People's Committee of T commune, Van Quan district, Lang Son province. After getting married, he and his wife did not have any major conflicts during their marriage. Now, Ma Thi H asks for a divorce, and he agrees, but on the condition that Ma Thi H has to pay him a bride price of 20 million VND; the compensation for his children's mental loss is 50 million VND.

3. Judgment 02/2018/HNGD-ST dated 07/10/2018 on divorce dispute

- Level of trial: First instance

- Judicial body: People's Court of Bao Lac district, Cao Bang province

- Quote from the content: "I found out that Ms. T often texted and called with other men, he reminded her, but Ms. T didn't listen, so they argued again. About 3–4 months later, Ms. T said she moved to Bac Giang province to work as a worker; he disagreed, but Ms. T still went. Since then, feelings have begun to fade. He went to Bac Giang with Ms. T, and Ms. T chased him away. Currently, his feelings for Ms. T no longer exist, but he only agreed to divorce when Ms. T paid him the amount of money his family's wedding ceremony brought to Ms. T's house. And he will return all of the bride's wedding gifts when he gets married and bring them to his house. The bride's wedding gifts brought to Ms. T's house include: rice, wine, chicken, pork, banh xeo, expenses for the engagement ceremony, transportation, the wedding challenge, etc. with a total amount of VND 36,010,000."

4. Judgment 07/2020/HNGD-ST dated August 18, 2020 on divorce and disputes over property claims

- Level of trial: First instance

- Judicial body: People's Court of Binh Gia district, Lang Son province

- Quote from the content: "The time of separation is from April 2017 to present. Ms. Hoang Thi S went to her mother's house to live. Mr. Hoang Van L and his family came to pick him up several times, but Ms. Hoang Thi S did not agree to return. As a result, he refused to divorce Hoang Thi S because his feelings remained. On July 24, 2020, Mr. Hoang Van L filed a counter-claim, requesting that Ms. Hoang Thi S return to him the bride price of VND 25,000,000.including 15,000,000 VND in cash and 10,000,000 VND in hams."

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